One of my dearest friends told me that I should make a list of qualities I want in a life partner. The idea was that because it was now written down, this ideal man could be found. She said she had read an article about how that had worked for a woman. Once she had the list written down, she could let all the guys that didn’t meet these qualities to just pass by without becoming attached and heartbroken.

Well, I think that’s all fine and dandy, but what about what we want for ourselves? I’ve played the game plenty of times with the men and I’m taking a sabbatical. I’m focusing on me. What are the qualities that we want in our best self? Surely the same plan of writing it down could still qualify for the universe.

What we had all learned time and time again, is that men will come and go, but at the end of the day, you are all that you’ve got. So who is that person you want to see in the mirror? I have enjoyed reading countless amounts of dating books and they all have the same core principle: do you first.

I love a good conversation about who my “perfect man” is and how he will be coming into my life. But recently, I much prefer a conversation about how I’m becoming the person that I want to be. My thought behind this is that I have no idea when this special person is coming into my life to stay, but I sure as hell better be the person that I want to be when he gets here.

I’ve taken some time to think about where I am on my journey to becoming my best self. I live completely independently. I owe my own car. I have a job that has a future and that I look forward to going to everyday. I have an excellent group of friends that I love very much. I am working hard to reach my personal financial goals. I’m working hard to be kind to everyone. And most importantly, I’m working hard to be honest with myself and others.

This list doesn’t cover everything, and it will probably continue on for the rest of my life. But each day, I’m finding happiness in the person that I am and I’m being grateful for everything and everyone in my life. To me, that’s the most important list!